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New PNG discovery in BC’s interior

KAMLOOPS, British Columbia – Musky Beaver Holdings recently discovered a new oil play in the Richard Valley region of central BC. A new type of exploration has begun after a box of old mining maps was...

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Canada in coma after 146th birthday party

CANADA, North America – The Associated Press is reporting that Canada is currently comatose in an area hospital while it recovers from a weekend-long bender. According to Greenland, who could hear the...

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Trans-Pacific pipeline proposal approved by China

JAMJAR, China – In a landmark political move, both daring and risky, Chinese President, Jirao Chen Chingtao Si, recently announced that his country will build a pipeline to bring crude oil and bitumen...

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New super union hits Alberta’s private sector oil and gas HQs

CALGARY, Alberta – News of the new Super-Union, Unifor, has been dredging up mixed feelings across Canada for the last few weeks.  An all encompassing super power is taking aim at lesser unions and...

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Lokjaws’ Sooperstores to sell canned Alberta crude to hobby refiners in rural...

TORONTO, Ontario – Sooperstore grocery stores and other associated Lokjaws companies are set to launch a product unheard of in the history of grocery vending.  A product termed Canned Crude is set to...

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Canada acquires the United States of America for $2.1B

OTTAWA, Canada – In a landmark acquisition of the ages, the likes of which have never been seen before, Canada has acquired the United States of America in a $2.1B deal. The deal has yet to be approved...

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Estrogen levels getting far too high in the oil industry

HOUSTON, Texas – Drugs and alcohol have long been a symbol of all that is wrong with the oil patch.  Lost time incidents are at an all time low in 2013, but there is still an issue with excessive use...

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Geothermal heating contributing to Global Warming

KENNEWICK, Washington. — There are nearly 400 homes in the community of SouthCliffe in Kennewick Washington at present.  These homes were constructed to be as green as can be, with solar panels,...

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Dam Hydro! releases study damning Hydro-Electric power

DAMSHPILL New Brunswick – Hydro-Electric power plants are a staple on waterways in the developed world.  Rivers and streams, when properly blockaded with concrete and steel, form excellent, seemingly...

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Obama planning to charge duty on US oil under Canadian soil

WASHINGTON, DC – In a political move that is sure to sour the relationship between Canada and its neighbor to the south, President Obama announced plans this morning to send an invoice to Stephen...

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Google makes bid to acquire every Oil and Gas operator in Canada

CALGARY, Alberta – A massive merger announcement yesterday rocked the financial world.  Internet search giant Google Inc. has made a $247 billion dollar bid to acquire every Oil and Gas operator in...

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University of Texas Announces Remedial Language Class for Non-Texans

AUSTIN, Texas – Entering university is typically the most daunting point of one’s academic journey – being away from the comforts of home, the tens of thousands of new faces, a multitude of diverse...

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2P News Exposed as Front for CSIS

OTTAWA, Canada – Last Sunday in its Farm and Livestock Section, the Edmonton Herald-Bloviator broke the story that an obscure Calgary-based website, provedplusprobable.com (also known as 2P News) is...

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OPEC & Obama launch civil suits against Canada

OTTAWA, Ontario – Canada has been named in a civil lawsuit put forth by both the Obama administration and OPEC.  The lawsuit names the Alberta oilsands as a direct threat and liability to both the...

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In Flanders Fields, the poppies blow

  In Flanders Fields In Flanders fields the poppies blow Between the crosses, row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below. We...

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Inuit to Farm-Raise Sperm Whales

YELLOWKNIFE, Northwest Territories – A group of Alaskan and Canadian natives announced plans to form a co-operative and go into the aquaculture business by farm-raising sperm whales. Chief Wahoo...

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Canada to declare military war against the US amid trade disputes

Decision comes after Trump’s Twitter tirade against Prime Minister Trudeau after G7 meetings. OTTAWA, Ontario – In an unprecedented move by any Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau is planning to...

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